8 Expat Years, 3 Countries, 1 Post

By Claudia Muñiz | September 22, 2014

I moved to
Tokyo, well actually to Shibuya, the hood with the 3000 people per green light crossing.

Before that I lived in
Stockholm, for 5 years – even though I am actually from Spain, where I’ve been “repat” for 6 months at this moment.

The reason for moving here was
The contract offered to me and my (now) husband made it possible to have the wedding I wanted. Which involved riding a subway, wearing a lace mini-dress and flying all my friends to Stockholm.

If I were to describe my current city in one word, that would be (And why?)

Tokyo is MAJOR. There’s nothing as luxurious, laid-back, modern, traditional, classy, kitsch, high-paced and slow at the same time. Biggest city in the world. You have to see it, to believe – rush now, Abenomics are making Japanese Yen ridiculously cheap!

The first thing a new expat needs to know when moving here is
Cash is king. Japanese is must. Be patient. VERY polite.

The 2 rules in Japan are:

• Protect human life
• Do not disturb others

These rule your life – welcome to the land of tsunamis, earthquakes, typhoons and manners. GOCHUI KUDASAI!!

The language issue
I learnt Japanese through talking to the lovely nailist Shimizu-san, from Ebisu Nail Quick. Well, I also took classes twice a week and studied (not as much as I wanted, but hey I was a salaryman too). I passed up to JLPT N4, which was more than enough to explain my feelings and even make my colleagues laugh, on the way to customer HQ’s.

Since I moved here I stopped
Eating tomatoes, as they were 3€ per unit and complaining about how poorly dressed people were. Streets of Tokyo are like a High Fashion Catwalk, not to mention my office. All those Softbank employees on Italian suits, nice…

Since I moved here the new thing I started doing is
Starbucksing! Starbucks had not entered the Swedish market before 2011, so working in Shiodome (Ginza area) gave me the perfect chance to get a card and VENTI AMERICANO in my veins. I love sitting there, watching Tokyo life past by. Students, lovers, ladies-who-lunch, businessmen, wedding-guests. Everyone finds room in one of the million Starbucks in Tokyo.

My biggest lesson learnt was
Japanese people often shut up and hide their feelings, to avoid breaking the harmony. They teach you that you are a slave of your words, but master of your silence. Remaining quiet, reading between lines, is a strength which can prove very useful back in Europe or the US. Learning who to talk to, when and what to say, is key to navigate this society, but often overlooked in the traditional Western business & interpersonal style.

Some weird habits at the locals
Japanese women walk around with sumbrellas. I hated this so much (as they’ll come on my way while powerwalking) that my hubby made an Android game to joke about this. Japanese women can communicate using a single word. It is magic. You can hear it a lot in Tokyo (especially at places where the chicks are, like nail salons, hairdressers, fashion stores, cat cafés and baby pet boutiques – including those focused on rabbits). So repeat with me : KA• WA• II. Literally means cute, but can express a much broader spectrum of emotions. From understanding through agreement or thanks.

My biggest cultural shock was
Japan is a very traditional country, when it comes to family structure and women/men role in the society. Coming from Stockholm, where fathers jog behind baby trolleys, it was unexpected. We are pictured with this futuristic Tokyo, when it is highly retarded from a social perspective. I have written a lot about this in my web, as I felt very much affected by the situation. Japanese Wedding manners are the most complicated on Earth, so after getting support from 5 different people, I ended up creating a guide so that others won’t buy funeral envelopes and make a mess at the “present counter”.

Nobody steals anything. Ever. People leave their iPhones, MacBooks, Chanel bags, to keep a seat in Starbucks while they are ordering. Once my friend got drunk. He woke up with a taxi ticket in his pocket. No coat or wallet, in his bed. He called the taxi company, which checked GPS and explained where had they picked him last night. He went there. A man showed up and told him “yes indeed, you were here puking last night, by the way, here’s your coat and your wallet”.

My funniest / weirdest / scariest experience was
The first time I went to the hairdresser, I wanted to try this “air perm” everyone was talking about. The reason for Japanese girls to have that perfectly curled ends (when Asians are supposed to have straight hair). So I found a picture on the internet, took it with me to explain exactly what I wanted.

1.5 years after, the hairdresser in Daikanyama, where I lived, closed. I moved to a new one, in Omotesando. When I appeared there, showed the same picture to the stylist. He went like “that’s my work” and I TOTALLY FREAKED OUT. So whet you’re in Tokyo, drop by and feel like a real Asian Fashionista

What I miss the most from home is
Being in the same timezone as your friends back in Europe and basically, the possibility to have a life during weekdays. It is a reality, Japanese are astonishingly hard working, they offer the best service ever, but hey this also turns into really long hours and lack of balance. Good thing though, 40 people came to visit us (30 of them during the first year, so there was little to miss when they were around).

Whenever I get home sick, what I miss is

Nothing? Well seriously. Besides the people, that cannot obviously follow you around the globe, Japan is so amazing that is hard to miss anything material. Tokyo is the city that has it all. Best stylists; nail artists, sky bars, running parks, museums, coolest cinemas, kitsch people, cool stores, fun cat cafés, magic sunsets and street festivals.

Shibuya is THE place to be. You go down the street and anything can happen. It is hard to miss something or get bored, when so many things around. Ironically, you never feel it’s crowded. Tokyoites respect space and there is virtually ZERO pick-pocketing, so it’s never tense to ride a super crowded train or anything.

I go home as often as
Once a year. Summer to visit my family in Spain and friends in Sweden, winter to explore the Pacific: Australia, Hawaii & French Polynesia!

I keep in contact with my friends and family

Whatsapp and my web, where we post all nice pictures of the things we see. It is a great way for everyone to truly experience, what it is, how it feels.

My favorite dish/local food is
Unagi. This is saltwater eel, boiled,then grilled and dipped in teriyaki-like sauce. So traditional and yummy that they are risking extinction (sadly, same as bluefin tuna, another favourite).

My favorite places in town are
Shibuya and its surroundings. Yoyogi-park, with its rockabilly. Naka-meguro to watch the sakura in the blooming season or go for a romantic dinner in any of the cozy spots by the river. Shibuya crossing and the buzzling streets around. Omotesando & Harajuku streets, specially the lovely shopping around the Cat Street. Daikanyama, exquisite shopping and our former residence. Izakayas along Ebisu.

I get around the city by
Walking (sometimes includes hitting sumbrella girls) and train

Street fashion?
Is much more uniform than what media portrays. Sure there are some kitsch teens around in cosplayer events, but in general, Japanese are very classic and conservative. Always polished, but uniform. There is a proverb that says “the nail that sticks out, gets hit by the hammer”. You will see. Girls are all in trench coats, A-line skirts and ankle-length pleated pants. With some heels, but not too much. Girly haircut. Mid-brown hair color. Pearl earrings. Soft make-up.

My view on people

3 years in Tokyo and I am still amazed by their self-control, their manners, and their politeness. Their ability to put “others” before “self”. It is very generous and tough, at the same time.

A part of it made it into me. You know, right? You have to adapt to survive.

It is amazing, to feel more respectful, listening and aware. But is also hard, because somehow you start to carry the “pressure” all the time. To refrain from speaking your mind as ideas cross it, to refrain from showing how you truly feel about something or whatever bad thing just happened, as a way to prevent conflict or worry on others.

Being an expat
After 8 years abroad, I am about to complete my first 6 months as a repat.

Going expat for a long time (over 5 years), is the best and the worst which can happen to you. The personal and often professional growth cannot be compared with anything. But at the same time, you become this weird blend called expat.

Neither from here, not from there. It’s a long story. The story starts the first time you pack and leave, but has no end on sight. No longer Spanish, neither Swedish or Japanese. There are bits of everyplace, that now became part of you. You look Spanish in Sweden and Japanese in Spain. There are life snapshots, friends, places, habits, which you always miss. The more you move, the harder it is to lay roots anywhere.

In 5 years, I see myself living in
Asia. Back in Japan or somewhere in SE Asia (Malaysia, Singapore, Indonesia), a side of the world I am getting to know, love and explore in my new job.